Whatever Happened to Netiquette?!?
May 30th, 2010I was watching the Andrew Marr Show this morning. David Simpson, joint leader of the union Unite (which represents British Airways cabin crew), was being interviewed. He was asked about ‘Twittering’ his followers during a private meeting with BA Chief Executive, Willie Walsh. He did not apologise for this. Instead, he called for public talks with BA in the full glare of the media.
Now, whatever one may think of Willie Walsh and his alleged tactics in dealing with the unions, and speaking in another context, David Simpson’s behaviour would have been challenged and his phone possibly confiscated were he in some classrooms. It is, furthermore, in poor taste and could very well have not done his union any favours.
Which leads me - somewhat obtusely - to the topic I wish to talk about. With the prolifertation of new technologies and associated applications, including Facebook, I think we have lost sight of how to behave appropriately when we are now accessible 24/7 because of these new technologies. It doesn’t matter now that some of us have lives outside of the virtual world. We are expected to always be available to others via instant messaging (e.g.) and are considered discourteous - whatever that means to them - when we do not instantly respond and are sometimes ‘flamed’ for it. In my experience with online communities, particularly gay ones, this is very common and after several years of interacting with others, I find users seem to fall into certain general categories. It would be interesting to see the research on this. Any takers?
The categories I find that exist (and others may feel free to add to these based on their own experiences) are:
- the purely visual: which generally applies to all men and also reinforces the stereotype that men do not read or feel, they go by what they see; picture collectors and voyeurs also fall into this category;
- the cyborg: usually European, very specifically German/Germanic, and needs to have information if that information is not explicit or clear. For example, ‘why am I not your type?’;
- the stalker: usually benign though infatuated with the object of his desire;
- the desperate: have probably been online for years and have not yet found their true love;
- the trophy collector: regardless of sexual role, is looking for a new (and, often, bigger) sex toy, or someone new to dominate.
- the horny one: when this person is online it is because he wants instant gratification.
These categories are not set in stone and each category may include one or more of the other categories, as well as cross cultural and national boundaries. However, many men are more intuitive, sensitive and more understanding of others’ needs. Others are becoming that way.
What do these categories have to do with Netiquette? Everything. It is about how we elect to behave online, whether or not we accept the consequences of our behaviour, or even know that most information, if not all of it, is recorded in the long term memory storage systems. Writing from personal experience, I have memberships with several gay online communities where I have profiles which include pics of myself and text which clearly describes (I would hope) what I am looking for. I get a lot of messages from guys who are usually under 30 who have clearly just looked at the pictures and decided to message me and not read the description until it is pointed out to them, or they are ‘given’ the opportunity to read it because I have not replied immediately. Or they have read the description and still fancied their chances at getting ‘to know (me) more’ (general meaning - ‘I want to have sex with you’). These men are generally not mature enough to handle rejection because they have either failed to do their research or neglected to read the profiles they are viewing, or both. Or they set their sights too high.
I mention the under 30s particularly, because this is the generation that has yet to be taught how to interact with others using the new technologies. The concept of Netiquette is as old as the Internet itself. Many of these guys would not have been born yet!
Netiquette is defined as:
a set of social conventions that facilitate interaction over networks, ranging from Usenet and mailing lists to blogs and forums.
and comes from two words, ‘network etiquette’.
With the increase in new technologies and applications, understandably, Netiquette is constantly in a state of flux and what is expected in terms of online behaviour varies with different communities. Nevetheless, there are socially unacceptable practices from the real world that are just as applicable in an online community. For example, insulting someone whose viewpoint you do not agree with (happens a lot on Facebook). There are implications, including legal implications, for inappropriate online behaviour and, thankfully, there are options available at many sites for dealing with this. People who engage in such behaviour face censure and, in some reported cases, being fired from their jobs.
Whatever we may think of the Victorian era and their appetite for etiquette books, it would appear that we need to be reminded from time to time how we ought to behave so that our online experiences are much more enjoyable and fulfilling. One book that comes to mind is John Morgan’s book, The Times Book of Modern Manners: A Guide Through the Minefield of Contemporary Etiquette. Unfortunately, John Morgan died the same year his book was published (2000).
There is also an article on the BBC website that still applies today. Check it out here.
Have a happy Bank Holiday weekend (UK), and a happy Memorial Day (US).
Peace…I am the Musclecturer
